The Artist Shares Thoughts on Pubic Hair, TV Editing and Other Topics

Everyone discussed your pubic hair after it was censored on a late-night program. Should we all be showing more or less bush?

More! I'm a fan of natural hair. I like a bush. I enjoy everything about it. I believe without that hair, they wouldn’t have censored it. Does that make sense? The natural hair, that is too scandalous.

I didn’t even notice the blurring occurred! I was really excited. I was like, “Well, perhaps they'll use a huge black bar.” But they just discreetly blurred that part. I was eager to perform there and I’m glad that they aired it, even though they needed to blur out the hair. I fully support body hair.

Regarding Likenesses & Inner Similarities

Some people have said you resemble Amelia Earhart. In your opinion you share anything on a deeper level?

I mean, I might attempt her actions. It could be fatal yet I'd try.

At times I receive really rough, inaccurate likenings. Twinks on Twitter are so demonic. One of the comparisons was just a corpse, like a mummy wearing a ring. A mummy with gay vibes.

Record Names & Past Incidents

One of your albums is called Set My Heart on Fire Immediately. Did you ever light something ablaze?

My mother's home. During my stay I extinguished a cigarette, but it reignited. I fell asleep. I woke up by a neighbor at the door as a section was on fire. I began spraying water. Officers arrived and helped extinguish it. I fucked up the whole house. This was before my career, prior to recovery.

People of Dislike

Can you name someone you oppose?

The Octopus Teacher guy. Plus the classic singer.

The documentarian presented the film like he was doing it to improve his relationship with his family but then he just devotes his time in the ocean with an octopus. Ultimately it passes away because he doesn’t want to interfere with nature. However, there exist extended footage showing him caressing himself against the animal, seeming like interference to me.

Ideal Animal Companions

Were you able to alter the size of any animal for a companion, which one?

I love monkeys. It's unlikely it's right to have a monkey of any size though suppose ethics aren't the focus right now. I'm fond of gibbons. Yet it wouldn't serve as a domestic animal. It would be a roommate. I would want that it makes independent decisions. It doesn’t have to pay. It would resemble a relative.

Romance & Union

Last month you posted photos from your wedding. (Best wishes!) What's the greatest action you took for romance?

It feels like sorcery when I’m in love, since it takes months until I admit it to them yet I'm constantly thinking is them. Alongside Alan, it seemed I was setting intentions. I was burning small papers. I was doing witchcraft. It succeeded. Any time I've been really into someone, it’s like a full-time task personally.

Hypothetical Show Appearances

If you had to be on a reality TV show soon, what would you choose?

I'd perform poorly on any show. Alan would be so good, I'd send him instead to all of those. He could likely earn so much money. Such as, Love is Blind, the bachelor program. I’m very bad with flirtation. I stumble often, I run into things. I can’t really be hot on purpose.

It would probably be the surveillance show. I would do Survivor but I burn easily and I'm a frail little Victorian child. I’d probably get an old illness or a vintage ailment. They’re kind of similar but you just have to be in the house.

Unusual Jobs

What is the strangest job you've done?

Well, there were several. I was employed as a phone salesperson for a mortgage bank though I'm nearly certain it was fraudulent, since my role was to collect private details. That's primarily they wanted me to do. The operators had just got out of prison and my pay cheques would bounce.

I also worked for a dating ad service before smartphones, thus many individuals lacked scanning devices. They mailed their pictures to me to scan and put on their profiles. I wasn’t supposed to but I took them all home, so I possessed an entire collection of personal images. I accessed all their messages too. It was against rules do any of these things but I definitely had favourite people I monitored.

Preferred Pairs

You tweeted: “Two gay guys 
 what a combo.” Which is your preferred gay male duo?

Everybody knows that I’m a big Brokeback head. I cried for like months after Brokeback Mountain. It deeply affected me. I would be doing the dishes and just kind of fall thinking about it. Before that, I hadn’t seen such a big-budget, beautifully produced gay movie. For a week straight I was just listening to a dance remix of the soundtrack.

Who are other gay guys? Impromptu questions challenge me today. I recently used painkillers. They cause autism? Well, I'm already affected.

Personalized Food

If you had a food item in your honor, what would be in it?

I don’t like overly complex sandwiches. I like greens, tomatoes, onion, cold cuts, mayonnaise, a bit of Italian seasoning, dressing. It'd simply be a basic sandwich – which is surprising, because I’m sure people would think I'd include flowers in it or something.

Many don't believe my name should be Mike. It ought to be some something Tilda Swinton-y. But I’m just an ordinary person kind of person.

Jill Walters
Jill Walters

A seasoned gambling analyst with over a decade of experience in online betting strategies and casino game reviews.