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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to discover that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity playing for City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, whereas a German currently occupies in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|